Koshur

On a shikara ride at Dal Lake,
there's also a lot of lush houseboats on the lake

Mr. Wonderful Flowerman

Kashmir is the most militarized country I have ever visited.  Every tenth car is an imposing military truck, and we would’ve had to stop at checkpoints along every road if my friend hadn’t had relatives in the government.  (Kashmir life runs on knowing the right people.)  The security was getting extra stringent as the anniversary of India’s independence, August 15th, approached.  For Kashmiris, this marks the day in 1947 that they lost their independence.  Throughout British colonial times, Kashmir had remained a fairly independent princely state.  They were majority Muslim but ruled by Hindus.  In 1947, as an unsatisfying solution to the claims of Muslims and Hindus, Britain split its territories into a majority Hindu India and a majority Muslim Pakistan.  Pakistan originally consisted of two parts on either side of India, but the poorer, eastern part later became an independent Bangladesh.  Kashmir, situated between India and Pakistan, wanted to keep its independence, and for that it has been the site of the longest continuous violent conflict in the world.  Pakistan, India, and China all lay claims to Kashmir.  The portion that Pakistan managed to control has to a great extent assimilated into Pakistani culture.  However, the “India-occupied” area retains more of its Kashmiri identity.  As they told me, they are friendly to the Hindu people, but they hate the government.  The Indian government made Jammu and Kashmir one state so that the Jammu Hindu-majority would weaken the voting bloc of the Muslim-majority Kashmir.  Most people there speak Kashmiri, but they learn Urdu/Hindu in school (the same spoken language, but different written scripts).  The Indian government refuses to invest in Kashmiri infrastructure, government programs, and even flood relief because of the fear that they will soon rebel, or that support would aid a rebellion.  The Indian military personnel are given clearance to shoot on sight, and multiple people are shot everyday are the territory.  Recently a 19-year-old Kashmiri independence leader was killed.

My friend and her family who were hosting me

I felt there was so much similarity between the culture I was a part of Kashmiri and the culture I was a part of in China, with the most glaring exception being religion and women’s roles (rather intertwined).  Both cultures place a vast importance on the family, and filial piety is one of the most valued qualities.  All generations live together in one house, and all generations play a part in the decision-making processes of the younger members.  A marriage is considered a union between two families, and arranged marriages still occur to varying degrees.  They eat family-style, and put food on other people’s plates.  They consider themselves exemplars of hospitality (but I haven’t met a culture that doesn’t) and like to make grand gestures of generosity, like huge meals at high-end restaurants where the concept of to-go bags is only recently becoming acceptable.  Gift-giving is an inextricable aspect of social interactions.  They take their shoes off when entering a house, without exception.  They drink tea all the time.  Colorism pervades relationships, driving women to use bleaching creams to feel more attractive.  The sexes are not much encouraged to mix, especially for teenagers.  Some of the overlapping experience was probably due to the fact that they are both developing cultures, but I also felt the presence of a shared Asian culture, based first and foremost on communalism.

Jamia Mosque

Hyzerbat Mosque, contains a supposed hair of Muhammad, the lake shore is right on the other side of the mosque

However, Kashmir has additionally been influenced by the Arab culture that came with Islam.  It places women firmly in the private sphere of the home.  Even the dress (long skirts and sleeves for all, hijabs for many, niqabs for some) enforces that for a woman to spend time in the public realm, she loses some of her self-expression, comfort, and independence, whereas she is a lively participant in the home affairs.  This is in stark contrast to China, where women are held to just as high academic and career standards as men—or close.  And of course, China, while occasionally spiritual, does not have the omnipresent Islam that Kashmir does.  Foreign Muslims visiting Kashmir, though, are often aghast at how loosely they practice, for example not praying often and even then to saints or shrines rather than only Allah.  I love that Muslims everywhere share linguistic similarities.  Good Muslims are expected to be able to read Arabic so as to read the Qu’ran, and Arabic phrases involving Allah appear in every sentence, e.g. God forbid, thanks be to God, hallelujah, God willing.  I feel like instead of the future tense, Muslims just use the phrase Insh’allah, God willing.